Thoughts about Food

I love food, cooking and baking. I am also realising that my relationship to food is sometimes not healthy. Having been noting my food down on an app to help me lose a bit of weight I've been realising that sometimes I eat because I'm bored and sometimes because of emotional issues.

I realised the emotional side when this weekend I fell apart for the first time in a while and noticed that my first thoughts were to head for food, when I wasn't a crying non verbal mess. We actually ended up having a walk out instead and that did me more good as I used some mindfulness techniques and it helped calm me down and treated myself to a cheap almost chocolate dessert (which I ate mindfully :D ). At least I'm not eating from boredom so much as I am thinking about what I'm eating instead of just heading to the kitchen and seeing what's there.

I'll have to look into more recipes to do in the slow cooker, I've got the cider cooked gammon and a nice stew down I'm sure I can find other tasty tasty things to do with it.

Interviews and other things that come to mind

I had my interview on Monday, it was unusual...We as a group (there was four of us) had to make and present a 'product' and what market and price point we would sell it at. Which was fun, got to play with glue and glitter and the interview itself seemed to go okay but I didn't get the job *sigh* back to the job search again.

Had my Mindfulness support group on Wednesday and chatted about this and that and did a standing meditation which was led by our guru on such matters, he is very into Buddhism and can tell you all about it. It was very nice to catch up with some of the group and meet some new faces.

Went back to one of the free to play MMO's I have on the puter Guild Wars 2 and have been enjoying it. First time I played it I think I had too many expectations on what it should be rather than just playing it and figuring it out but coming back to it after quite a while I just went with it and found it enjoyable.

So I got another book from my volunteering gig called Queen Victoria's Book of Spells, it's an anthology of Steampunk type stories and looks good.

Things

I made for dinner today the dish known in the family as Chicken Thing. Tasty and pretty easy to make but feeds us well. It also reminds me of Sundays at home if Mum didn't make a roast dinner and it was always looked forward to.

So I have my interview tomorrow, my smart clothes are ready and I am very nervous completely calm about it, I am sure my crafty little self will go down well.

Sleepy Shadow

I had a nap earlier and slept for at least two hours and will not be going to bed as late as I normally do. This week has been tiring but worthwhile in the fact it made me realise I want to do the education thing again I enjoyed being in the classroom learning (or at least sharing my knowledge). So I shall have to poke that and see what is available.

In other news I have an interview and it's for an area I have an interest in crafts. So I have some smart new interview clothes and enthusiasm. Plus I've lost two pounds in weight so all that walking I've been doing this week has definitely been good for me onward and downwards hopefully.

My beloved had his birthday today and was pleased with the gifts he got and very delighted that I brought home chocolate and muffins for him, well you should have some sort of cake on your birthday.

Courses for Shadows...

I'm on a course at the moment, in fact I've been doing more than one (mindfulness, creative writing, whatever else I can get involved with) but this one is a Jobcentre one. It isn't as bad as I thought it would be and the people are nice but still I am in a group I don't know and I tend to get a bit unnerved.

After having a good walk around and buying fruit instead of chocolate I had ten minutes to spare so I did some meditation for five minutes to prepare me for the anxiety of roleplay. It helped me be more relaxed and that in turn helped me to be a very good distracted shop assistant. The teacher said I played the role very well.

I've been managing to walk lots the last few days so hopefully that will help in the long run of me trying to eat healthier and get more exercise.

Lions and Teddys and Foxes Oh My!

His name is Harry, I've only had him a few months but I saw him in the shop when I was in a down and he had been reduced so I bought him to cheer myself up. He has become a bit of a barometer if I'm feeling blue I'll grab him and wander around the flat looking all of about five. 

I've always had a favourite teddy/cuddly toy to go to at various times. One Eyed Ted, Nippet, Leo, Jasper and a few others all with various reasons as why I would go to them. 

One is a fox called Foxy and he was made for me by my dad when I was about nine. These days he's looking a bit worn and has no nose but is still loved. At one point I began having nightmares pretty often and ended up falling asleep hugging my fox to guard me from having more, so then I started hugging him when I went to bed to stop me having nightmares and it worked. 

Leo I always hugged when I was ill he just seemed to comfort me more when I was sick, his nose is worn and his velveteen paws are quite smooth these days.

So if I am hugging a small bear named Harry, he's there to chase the black dog away? If only for a little while.

So who has been sending me their energy?

Having upped my medication I've been finding it harder to get up but once I have for the last couple of days I've been wired. Today I've done the washing up, sorted a few bits out and made a cup of tea for people and walked to the corner shop it's not far but I took a longer route to it so I could burn off some of this energy I've suddenly acquired. Still have the background feeling that I connect with depression but it's easier to ignore at the moment.

Also I have been sewing my dragon cross stitch so yay for me! I can get used to this.